Rule 1: Become genuinely interested in other people.
“Do this and you will be welcome anywhere.”
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
“Ask questions to other people, questions that they would enjoy answering.”
As individuals we often like to feel cared about and when someone asks usquestions we feel like they care. Thus when we ask questions, they feel cared about. People like to feel important and in honest truth we like to talk about ourselves it boosts our ego. Instead of making yourself feel grand, make the other person feel valuable. I know by experience that when someone asks about our lives we feel like they care, and this makes us feel like we can care about them too. This bond creates friendships faster and with more substance. Next time when greeting, or meeting someone ask about them. Possibly start with, “how has your day been?” or, “how are you?” Simple key points to initiate conversation and promote interest.
“1. They aren’t insecure
2. They’re Genuine.
3. They Don’t Judge
4. They’re Positive
5. They Don’t Compete
6. They Provide Value
7. They Don’t Settle for Small Talk
8. They Touch People
9. They Don’t Shy Away
10. They Genuinely Like People”
This list is published in an article on Lifehack.org that teaches us the ways people and why people are likeable. MAKE THE BEST IMPRESSION POSSIBLE
Rule 2: Smile
1) “Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, “I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.”
2) “You don’t feel like smiling? Then force yourself to smile.”
3) “It creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in a business, and is the countersign (witness or indication) of friends.”
Smiles are friendly and approachable. I have always found that the day i smile the most, ends up being the brightest. I have noticed that smiles only happen when we are happy, we do it to our friends, but imagine doing it to others? It could be magic. A smile can actually be made so easily. If you hold on to a smile for about thirty seconds straight( sometimes more depends on your mood, just hold it for a while) , you eventually begin to smile, it’s proven. Don’t believe me, try it. You just want to laugh, or smile, and it makes you happy instantly. Smiles are very essential to happiness in our lives and it makes us better as people. Everyone rather be around the happiness then the sadness, because what you give off, rubs off just like habits and vibes. So smile because you can, smile because someone out there just had a child, because someone out there is saying “I do,” because someone out there feels love, someone out there made a friend, and someone like you is smiling too. It makes us almost feel less alone. Because someone somewhere is happy too, and that’s awesome.
Rule 3: Remember names
2) “If you don’t remember names, you are headed for trouble.”
Rule 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
When people feel heard this welcomes a feeling of comfort and sympathy. Most of the time all we want is to be heard and often when we cannot be heard or aren’t we feel alone and unwanted. When someone asks about you, you feel as if someone cares and this is the feeling we want to give others. Just yesterday on the bus, I was speaking to this elderly woman on the bus and we got to talking about her life, and her kids, and travels. She left me at her stop and welcomed me to her home whenever I needed someone to speak to and a blessing. I had never had such an engaging conversation with someone and i can tell she felt genuinely heard, and this made me happy. It reminded me of my grandma and my mom, and my aunt and how we all talk to each other and they always open up to each other hearing each other our and getting advice from one another. They have like a support system and hearing people becomes means of support and you give hope to the other individual.
Listening to others gives them support and makes you supportive so next time you see someone having some trouble take a moment to listen to them. I will constantly apply this skill in helping others.
5 Tips for Active Listening:
Allow periods of silence for them to talk
Paraphrase/ Repeat their words
Understand emotions behind words
Rule 5: Talk in terms of the other man’s interest.
“The royal road to a man’s heart is to talk to him about the things he treasures most.”
Rule 6: Make the other person feel important–and do it sincerely.
“The desire to be important is the deepest urge in human nature.” (John Dewey)“Helping people feel important and appreciated works magic.”
30 out 0f 70 ways to make someone feel special
1. Stop what you’re doing and look directly into their eyes when they’re talking.
2. Make a note of their likes and preferences so you can recommend joint activities you know they’ll enjoy.
3. Recognize when they’re feeling down on themselves and say, “I think you’re awesome, and I hope you know it!”
4. Compliment them on their appearance, especially if it’s something others might not recognize (like a small weight loss).
5. Praise them for a job well done—especially if it’s a tiny victory that others might not think to acknowledge.
6. Let them know what you find interesting, rare, or admirable about them.
7. Take an interest in their hobbies and passions, and give them a chance to light up in sharing why they enjoy them.
8. Compliment them on their skills as a parent or their thoughtfulness as a son, daughter, brother, or sister.
9. Start a conversation with, “It’s really amazing how you…”
10. Say, “I want you to know you make a difference in my life. Thank you for being you.”
11. Tell them you believe they can achieve their dream—and why.
12. If they don’t have a clear dream, recognize and acknowledge their skills and talents.
13. Ask them questions to help them uncover how they can leverage their strengths to make a difference in the world.
14. Encourage them to go for something they want but are scared to pursue.
15. Comfort them after a failure or misstep and let them know it isn’t representative of who they are or what they’re capable of.
16. Ask them to teach you how to do something to reinforce that this is something they excel at.
17. Offer to teach them something you know they’ve wanted to try, and let them know why you think they’d be good at this.
18. Give them something to help them get started on their dream—like a journal for an aspiring writer, or a design book for someone interested in fashion.
19. Tell them you want to be the first one to buy their product or service when they inevitably start making a living off their passion.
20. Give them a hand-made card and write inside what you see in them.
21. Give your time—to listen, to support, or to just enjoy each other’s company.
22. Give them a job referral and say, “You’re the first person I thought of when I saw this—no one could do this job as well as you!”
23. Give an introduction to someone they’d enjoy knowing—and introduce them with a compliment (i.e.: This is my good friend Avery, who’s a fantastic chef and one of the funniest people I know).
24. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Instead of assuming they’ve done something thoughtful or insensitive, remember their goodness, and let them know.
25. Give them your approval—nod your head when they’re talking and commend their thoughts and ideas.
26. Give them space to work through thoughts and ideas out loud, even if you’re tempted to bring the conversation back to yourself.
27. Give them credit for something they were right about.
28. Give them the opportunity to shine in front of others when you’re tempted to dominate the conversation.
29. Give compassion when you’re tempted to judge, and let them know what you admire about the challenges they’ve overcome.
30. Give them your honest opinion and say, “I value you too much to tell you anything but the truth.”
The six ways to make people like you have been tested, and proven. Each way can bring you one step closer to friends and aquaintences. For example, remembering names is a way to show people they made an impact on you, and listening to them provides them with support and comfort. I wish to follow and abide to these rules, and ways knowing they will affect my relations with people. I will respond attentively when spoken to and strive to make others feel appreciated. Smiles are contagious and by this way i can make others feel happy and feel welcomed. I believe that making relationships with others is both hard and easy depending on your reactions to them. For example, you can make friends with anyone and it is evident when noticing that friends can come from all kinds of backgrounds and still remain friends. Strive to show your happiness and to make others happy. Especially with the holidays, friendships are always beautiful to have as one feels the warmth of others.