Technique 1: Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
“If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive.”
Criticism is never handled lightly by anyone and is often seen as rude. Complaining is a burden because you bring down your own spirit and the other person’s. People like good natured conversation not something that will bother them. Life is always about focusing on the good and not the bad, it’s the only way to truly survive. It keeps you hopeful in difficult times. When speaking with someone, you don’t really know their thoughts or what they have gone through. Sometimes criticism seems useless when you don’t fully understand the situation and complaining can bring up other issues that you or the other person may have. People like to be appreciated and this is how relationships are formed. Each individual brings the other one something to better their life such as sympathy or compassion.
Technique 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation
“The big secret in dealing with people”
People can tell when we are lying, and a fake compliment is the worst. I think it makes the person feel guilty of not really being truthful. Honest and sincere comments are ones that cannot be denied and are truthful. For example, you can tell a girl ,” you are the most beautiful person alive,” but if the girl doesn’t believe it, it may sound very fake and unrealistic. Instead of this you could try, “you are the most beautiful, in my eyes,” this way the person cannot disagree and will understand that what you say is truthful because it is your personal opinion. Speak for yourself, and for the voiceless. When speaking, one must be connected to what they are saying for the phrase to be meaningful. Anyone can say, “I love you,” but only few can mean it with their heart. You can then feel the connection between each other. Applying this to your daily conversations and greetings surely makes those around you feel welcomed.
Technique 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want.
“He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot, walks a lonely way.”
This principle can mean various things. For example you can inspire another. For a teacher to get their students to learn they must feel motivated and inspired to want to learn. In a conversation you have to encourage the other person to want to talk to you. In an interview for a job, the person hiring must see in you a reason to add you to their company or team as a benefit. When somebody truly wants/needs you, it is noticeable and often benefits both individuals. The other person will welcome something they want. If you want to be invited to a party, show that you are the life of the party and that your way of being is going to make the party more exciting. People will follow you for how you are and how you handle situations.
Handling people can become both a simple task and a difficult mission. People need kindness, and genuine emotion. These traits make people want to talk more. Humans crave interaction, but most importantly interaction that benefits them. A conversation is between two people and two people should enjoy the conversation. I wish to apply these techniques in my conversations to help me speak better and more fluently with people. These techniques are the basics for handling small talk or deep convos with friends or strangers. When people are seeking advice from you, be honest and help them out. If you want to speak to someone, don’t push them away. If you want to talk to someone, make them enjoy talking to you. People are like people, you are a person, and so am I. We should always take into consideration the views and words of others when we speak to them.