Ten Tips for Being More Truthful-Barbara A. Lewis

  1. Make a commitment to tell the truth.
  1. Tell someone about your commitment.

Making a commitment to be honest means being honest with others and yourself. Sometimes it’s hard to committ to things but at the end of the day it is rewarding to be able to say you stayed committed and determined on your goals. Sharing your committment with someone else lets them know how focused you are on something and how much it means to you. Your commitment may even come off as an inspiration to them. This choice also means having to be loyal, trustworthy, and determined. For example when being in a committed relationship with someone, each person follows being loyal, determined, and trustworthy. You’ll want to keep the other person’s trust and therefore stay committed. This is the case when sharing your commitment to be truthful. Perhaps you tell your best friend that you will be more truthful from now, they then know you are on a mission to avoid lies, and will be completely honest. This is useful when having to be honest to others, this way they will understand where your honesty is coming from and how true it is. Staying focused means wanting to tell the truth, and this will result in telling the truth.

 

 

 

3. Think before you give a dishonest answer.

Reflecting upon your decision to say something dishonest helps. After you reflect you know you can’t be dishonest so you say the truth. Often we just speak but when we reflect on the words we are speaking, we can change what we intitially planned to say. This helps us understand the situation better and it involves a deeper thinking as to what we ourselves would react when hearing the answer. Being honest also helps long term. If a lie carried on, eventually the truth would become a bigger more painful reveal. being honest als o does not mean being rude. For example, your friend is trying on a dress for prom, and she asks you if it loks nice, but the dress in your view does not flatter her, the best choice is to be honest with her and tell her the truth. However you do not want to offend her or make her insecure, so you can simply reply, ” The dress isn’t so nice, im sure you can find a better one,” and help your friend find a dress that will make her shine that night. Being honest is benefitial to you and the other person. In that scenario, your friend would loo very nice at prom, and you would have helped her look good.

 

4. Be careful of when and how you use exaggeration, sarcasm, or irony.

There is always a limit and boundaries. Exaggerations can often lead to misleading comments and answers. This can harm others. Sometimes sarcasm can be seen as rude, and it depends on the person. It is good to have fun and be funny but not at the cost of being seen as a lier or misleading.  Exaggeration and sarcasm are not to be used during formal occassions, or sad situations due to hurting others. People could consider it ridicule or bullying.

 

 4. Be careful not to twist the truth or leave part of it out.

The truth is only completely true when it is honest and real. Leaving part out of the truth gives a person only half the true statement, making it only half true, and not truely true. Suppose a little boy when out to ride bikes with his friends, and his mother asks him where have you been, and he was not allowed to go bike riding, so he answers, ” I wasn’t swimming mom,”the answer is true, he was not swimming, but he also does not tell her the truth she was asking for. The truth can be hard to tell sometimes and can lead to consequences, but repeated lies can lead to even more consequences and worst an entire catastrophe when the lies all turn out to be fake. Twisting your words can be misleading, and unless you are yoda, it really isn’t good to twist words. Twisted words means an unclear sentence or conversation and this can confuse and irritate others, it also converts the statement to a lie. The truth  so much more beneficial and easier than lying, so why lie?

 

 

 

6. Don’t indulge in little white lies.

White lies are not helpful to others or to you because they grow. The lies also have a tendency to spread to others, and from there on it grows more. White lies are not as innocent as they seem and often we tend to be careless with other lies, and then when we get caught it was over a simple tiny lie. What is a white lie? A harmless or trivial lie, especially one told to avoid hurting someone’s feelings.These lies can backfire however, and even though they are small, they are still lies. For example consider a murder, if you were a suspect and they asked you where you were during the act and you say at your friend Juan’s house, but you were actually at your house one block away from the incident but said nothing to revoke being involved in the murder. So the officers question Juan and juan says you weren’t there. You become suspicious and a lier.The authorities will question why you did not say the truth, and you become a lead suspect for a murder you did not committ, while in fact you could have been home watching spongebob and eating fruit loops. White lies do not benefit and they put you at risk of creating a bigger problem or lie.

 

 

7. Watch out for silent lies.

A silent lie is when you keep information to yourself that could help another. This information is a lie because you knew something but chose to be quiet. This often can lead to disaster for the clueless person, and this is being mean to others. For example, say a man is chasing after his runaway daughter to tell her that he loves her and he asks you at the airport, have you seen my daughter and you know which terminal she is in,but say you haven’t seen her. You lied about knowing. Sometimes silent lies aren’t obvious lies, but they will still remain as lies.

Let’s define “lies of omission”.

A lie is simply defined:

      1) To make a statement that one knows to be false, especially with the intend to

 

      deceive.

 

      2) To give a false impression.

 

    3) Anything that gives or is meant to give a false impression.

Different varieties of less obvious lies:

      1) Derail: To change the subject of discussion in order to avoid the truth (for example, one might pretend to be offended in order to stop a conversation about one’s questionable actions).

 

      2) Confuse: quibble or confuse the issue, or deliberately use ambiguity in order to deceive or mislead.

 

    3) Misinform: To invent or perpetrate a false story with the intent to deceive or mislead.

The Lie of Omission

Less obvious than the others, a “lie of omission” is to remain silent when personal morals, ethics, professional or even legal responsibilities call for one to speak up.

A lie of omission is a method of deception and duplicity that uses the technique of simply remaining silent when speaking the truth would significantly alter the other person’s capacity to make an informed decision.

Lies of omission

 

 

8. When you catch yourself lying, throw your mouth into reverse.

Stop the lies and stop lying. Basically if you feel like you are going to lie , do the opposite, tell the truth. Sometimes a lie wants to come out but you know the truth so it is better to tell the truth. Catching yourself about to lie, is like catching yourself about to fall off a cliff, you move away from the cliff, you stop and reverse. Lies are a big bundle of mess, confusion, and pain, its not something you want to throw at someone. Being a lier is like a disease, if you say a lie, those who believe it can spread that lie, then more and more people become liers.

WHY WE LIE AND HOW TO STOP LINK ( PSYCHTODAY)

Controlling a Response—When you talk to a close friend about an interaction with a co-worker or lover, do you only tell your side of the story? Do you leave out a small but significant detail about something you brought to the table? Do you rephrase the less desirable words you said in the moment? Think about how these subtle changes may influence your friend’s attitude and response. Are you just getting your friend to say what you want to hear? In the end, how authentic is their response if you strategically manipulated the outcome?

How to stop lying

When trying to stop lying people do the same mistake they do with weight loss, they usually try to fix the symptom instead of dealing with the problem itself.

In weight loss, people usually ignore the fact that they are eating because they are depressed (see emotional eating) and not because they are hungry then in the end they find themselves regaining the weight they have lost.

The same goes for lying prevention, people usually focus on stopping lying itself without examining the real cause behind lying.

If you are serious about stopping lying then you should deal with the real reasons behind lying and not with lying itself. Lying is not the problem but its the symptom that indicates that another problem exists.

Why are you lying?

You will need some courage before you can ask yourself that question. Sit alone in a place where no one can disturb you and then ask yourself the question, why am I lying??

  • Do you lack self confidence and want to appear more confident in front of people? After all, lots of people lie just to preserve their self image and to prevent others from judging them.
  • Are you lying to gain people’s attention because they usually overlook you? Do you think that people are ignoring you and that they are overlooking you most of the time?? Lots of people lie in order to get back the lost attention that they have never been able to get without lying. (see Attention seeking disorder
  • Are you lying because you lack courage?? Lots of people lie because they lack the courage to face the consequences of telling the truth. They usually lie because they lack the required skills for dealing with the anger of others.
  • Are you lying to gain acceptance and approval?? Some people think that they
    are worthy as long as others approve them and that’s why they keep lying in order to maintain this approval.

The right way to stop lying

If lying has became a habit for you then you should not focus on breaking this habit but instead you should be dealing with the root cause. Whether its building self confidence, developing better social skills or dealing with your fears, it wont matter, what matters is that lying will never end before these underlying reasons end.

Learn how to value yourself without depending on the judgment of others, learn how to be more influential without telling stories that never happened and learn how to have faith in your self and your abilities, only then you will stop lying.

10 WAYS TO REWARD YOURSELF FOR WORKING HARD

 

Being truthful is a hard thing to do when you are put in tough situations, but it will always be the right thing. This is being the hero, the bigger person, this is being honest with not only others, but yourself. The truth will always be golden for the fact that the truth can never be changed. I have learned to reflect on my past judgment and focus on improving what i say and think. This has helped me to be more honest with myself. It has also involved a lot morre brain activity as the capacity of my brain grew. Everyone has lied at least some point in their lives. Maybe about their weight, or grades, or about liking something when they really don’t. Lying can comfort those who it benefits, but hurt others. I have learned that it takes a true champion to remain clean andtruthful, and if you are then honestly that is an achievment. Just because a person hasn’t always been truthful doesnt mean they cant change. So if a person hasn’t been always truthful , it is always a good time to start.

 

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