Three Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

Dale Carnegie

Technique 1: Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.

“If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive.”

 

Criticism is never handled lightly by anyone and is often seen as rude. Complaining is a burden because you bring down your own spirit and the other person’s. People like good natured conversation not something that will bother them. Life is always about focusing on the good and not the bad, it’s the only way to truly survive. It keeps you hopeful in difficult times. When speaking with someone, you don’t really know their thoughts or what they have gone through. Sometimes criticism seems useless when you don’t fully understand the situation and complaining can bring up other issues that you or the other person may have. People like to be appreciated and this is how relationships are formed. Each individual brings the other one something to better their life such as sympathy or compassion.

Technique 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation

“The big secret in dealing with people”

People can tell when we are lying, and a fake compliment is the worst. I think it makes the person feel guilty of not really being truthful. Honest and sincere comments are ones that cannot be denied and are truthful. For example, you can tell a girl ,” you are the most beautiful person alive,” but if the girl doesn’t believe it, it may sound very fake and unrealistic. Instead of this you could try, “you are the most beautiful, in my eyes,” this way the person cannot disagree and will understand that what you say is truthful because it is your personal opinion. Speak for yourself, and for the voiceless. When speaking, one must be connected to what they are saying for the phrase to be meaningful. Anyone can say, “I love you,” but only few can mean it with their heart. You can then feel the connection between each other. Applying this to your daily conversations and greetings surely makes those around you feel welcomed.

Distinguish Fake Smiles!!!

Technique 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want.
“He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot, walks a lonely way.”

This principle can mean various things. For example you can inspire another. For a teacher to get their students to learn they must feel motivated and inspired to want to learn. In a conversation you have to encourage the other person to want to talk to you. In an interview for a job, the person hiring must see in you a reason to add you to their company or team as a benefit. When somebody truly wants/needs you, it is noticeable and often benefits both individuals. The other person will welcome something they want. If you want to be invited to a party, show that you are the life of the party and that your way of being is going to make the party more exciting. People will follow you for how you are and how you handle situations.

 

 

 

 

 

Final Reflection:

Handling people can become both a simple task and a difficult mission. People need kindness, and genuine emotion. These traits make people want to talk more. Humans crave interaction, but most importantly interaction that benefits them.  A conversation is between two people and two people should enjoy the conversation. I wish to apply these techniques in my conversations to help me speak better and more fluently with people. These techniques are the basics for handling small talk or deep convos with friends or strangers. When people are seeking advice from you, be honest and help them out. If you want to speak to someone, don’t push them away. If you want to talk to someone, make them enjoy talking to you.  People are like people, you are a person, and so am I. We should always take into consideration the views and words of others when we speak to them.

Killer Conversation Starters – click to view

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Christmas Break.

 

For Christmas vacation, I visited my dad. My dad’s house is about 3-4 hours away and in the middle of nowhere. My dad lives with my cousin from Mexico, my two other cousins, my niece, and my cousins friend. Our whole family was going to spend Christmas over there, and this is the first time I’ve spend any form of holiday with my dad since the divorce. We decorated the house, we put stockings on the staircase, and we burned cookies, and ate posole. My aunt made tamales that lasted us until three days after New Year’s.  I got to paint my own stocking which was awesome and I got to drink so much champurrado. We were there for two whole weeks and during the time we made the most of our time. We got to ride our old ATV’s, we played our shooting games, and I got to relive my most memorable moments in archery. We line up discarded soda cans to shoot at for accuracy and we shoot at a target board my dad has set in his back yard; my dad has his own set of dirt land next to the house where we ride our bikes and race. I hadn’t been able to do those things in a really long time. We made a fire and my dad’s dog started howling so we taught our baby niece how to howl at the moon, it is literally the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. New Years was very meaningful to me, possibly the best New Year’s yet. I always see people get all fancy for this day and this year I really wondered why. We stay home, and eat food, and are with our family. I think that’s enough to kick off a new year. So this year I literally showed up to my cousin’s house with sweats and a hoodie, but I was extremely happy to share time with all of them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6 ways to make people like you

Rule 1: Become genuinely interested in other people.
“Do this and you will be welcome anywhere.”
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
“Ask questions to other people, questions that they would enjoy answering.”

As individuals we often like to feel cared about and when someone asks usquestions we feel like they care. Thus when we ask questions, they feel cared about. People like to feel important and in honest truth we like to talk about ourselves it boosts our ego. Instead of making yourself feel grand, make the other person feel valuable. I know by experience that when someone asks about our lives we feel like they care, and this makes us feel like we can care about them too. This bond creates friendships faster and with more substance. Next time when greeting, or meeting someone ask about them. Possibly start with, “how has your day been?” or, “how are you?” Simple key points to initiate conversation and promote interest.

 Link to article on traits of likeable people, useful!

“1. They aren’t insecure

2. They’re Genuine.

3. They Don’t Judge

4. They’re Positive

5. They Don’t Compete

6. They Provide Value

7. They Don’t Settle for Small Talk

8. They Touch People

9. They Don’t Shy Away

10. They Genuinely Like People”

This list is published in an article on Lifehack.org that teaches us the ways people and why people are likeable. MAKE THE BEST IMPRESSION POSSIBLE

How to make people like you- INSTANTLY!

 

Rule 2: Smile
1) “Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, “I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.”
2) “You don’t feel like smiling? Then force yourself to smile.”
3) “It creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in a business, and is the countersign (witness or indication) of friends.”

Smiles are friendly and approachable. I have always found that the day i smile the most, ends up being the brightest. I have noticed that smiles only happen when we are happy, we do it to our friends, but imagine doing it to others? It could be magic. A smile can actually be made so easily. If you hold on to a smile for about thirty seconds straight( sometimes more depends on your mood, just hold it for a while) , you eventually begin to smile, it’s proven. Don’t believe me, try it. You just want to laugh, or smile, and it makes you happy instantly. Smiles are very essential to happiness in our lives and it makes us better as people. Everyone rather be around the happiness then the sadness, because what you give off, rubs off just like habits and vibes. So smile because you can, smile because someone out there just had a child, because someone out there is saying “I do,” because someone out there feels love, someone out there made a friend, and someone like you is smiling too. It makes us almost feel less alone. Because someone somewhere is happy too, and that’s awesome.

Songs to boost mood!

51 things to smile about!

15 ways to make someone smile

40 things that bring happiness

 

 

 

Rule 3: Remember names

1) “A man’s name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

2) “If you don’t remember names, you are headed for trouble.”

Rule 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

” If you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener.” 

“Remember that the man you are talking to is a hundred times more interested in himself and his wants and his problems than he is in you and your problems. 

 

When people feel heard this welcomes a feeling of comfort and sympathy. Most of the time all we want is to be heard and often when we cannot be heard or aren’t we feel alone and unwanted. When someone asks about you, you feel as if someone cares and this is the feeling we want to give others. Just yesterday on the bus, I was speaking to this elderly woman on the bus and we got to talking about her life, and her kids, and travels. She left me at her stop and welcomed me to her home whenever I needed someone to speak to and a blessing. I had never had such an engaging conversation with someone and i can tell she felt genuinely heard, and this made me happy. It reminded me of my grandma and my mom, and my aunt and how we all talk to each other and they always open up to each other hearing each other our and getting advice from one another. They have like a support system and hearing people becomes means of support and you give hope to the other individual.

How to be a GOOD listener

 

 

Listening to others gives them support and makes you supportive so next time you see someone having some trouble take a moment to listen to them. I will constantly apply this skill in helping others.

 

 

 

 

5 Tips for Active Listening: 

1. Stay Focused

2. Really Listen

3. Allow periods of silence for them to talk

4. Paraphrase/ Repeat their words

5. Understand emotions behind words 

 

Rule 5: Talk in terms of the other man’s interest.

“The royal road to a man’s heart is to talk to him about the things he treasures most.”

 

When people relate they feel closer. No one ever feels unwanted this way and similarites are found amongst the two conversating. If the person brings up a certain topic, ask them on the topic. Asking the other person questions on their interests is a perfect way to fill awkward gaps of silence and to get to know one another. When I’m talking to someone knew my ocnversations starts off with greeting them, and then how are they or how was their day  and i elaborate on one of their topics of choosing. For example, my cousin came over yesterday and we watched a series of Christmas movies, and ate chinese food. We spent the entire time back and forth asking questions and discussing our lives. She has a basketball game today afternoon against another high school. and we took to speaking about basketball because it is something that interests her, she seemed happy to be talking freely, and i did as well. You can never expect someone to be interested in you when you show no interest in them at all.

10 Simple Ways to Show Your Sincere Interest in Others

Talking in another’s interests engages them in the talk and shows you care. The holidays are upon us and this is great time to be taking other’s opinions into considerations. For love ones, it helps with gift buying and finding ways for them to feel loved and cared about these Holidays!

Rule 6: Make the other person feel important–and do it sincerely.

“The desire to be important is the deepest urge in human nature.” (John Dewey)“Helping people feel important and appreciated works magic.”

When people feel important they feel cared for and loved. Everyone deserves to feel this way respected and wanted. One can make others feel special by listening to them and responding giving support. Those people then fell heard and this makes us happy. Making people feel happy and important is not a difficult feat and can be done with ease as one opens their hearts to give to another.

 30 out 0f 70 ways to make someone feel special

Pay Attention

1. Stop what you’re doing and look directly into their eyes when they’re talking.

2. Make a note of their likes and preferences so you can recommend joint activities you know they’ll enjoy.

3. Recognize when they’re feeling down on themselves and say, “I think you’re awesome, and I hope you know it!”

4. Compliment them on their appearance, especially if it’s something others might not recognize (like a small weight loss).

5. Praise them for a job well done—especially if it’s a tiny victory that others might not think to acknowledge.

6. Let them know what you find interesting, rare, or admirable about them.

7. Take an interest in their hobbies and passions, and give them a chance to light up in sharing why they enjoy them.

8. Compliment them on their skills as a parent or their thoughtfulness as a son, daughter, brother, or sister.

9. Start a conversation with, “It’s really amazing how you…”

10. Say, “I want you to know you make a difference in my life. Thank you for being you.”

See Potential

11. Tell them you believe they can achieve their dream—and why.

12. If they don’t have a clear dream, recognize and acknowledge their skills and talents.

13. Ask them questions to help them uncover how they can leverage their strengths to make a difference in the world.

14. Encourage them to go for something they want but are scared to pursue.

15. Comfort them after a failure or misstep and let them know it isn’t representative of who they are or what they’re capable of.

16. Ask them to teach you how to do something to reinforce that this is something they excel at.

17. Offer to teach them something you know they’ve wanted to try, and let them know why you think they’d be good at this.

18. Give them something to help them get started on their dream—like a journal for an aspiring writer, or a design book for someone interested in fashion.

19. Tell them you want to be the first one to buy their product or service when they inevitably start making a living off their passion.

20. Give them a hand-made card and write inside what you see in them.

Give Generously

21. Give your time—to listen, to support, or to just enjoy each other’s company.

22. Give them a job referral and say, “You’re the first person I thought of when I saw this—no one could do this job as well as you!”

23. Give an introduction to someone they’d enjoy knowing—and introduce them with a compliment (i.e.: This is my good friend Avery, who’s a fantastic chef and one of the funniest people I know).

24. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Instead of assuming they’ve done something thoughtful or insensitive, remember their goodness, and let them know.

25. Give them your approval—nod your head when they’re talking and commend their thoughts and ideas.

26. Give them space to work through thoughts and ideas out loud, even if you’re tempted to bring the conversation back to yourself.

27. Give them credit for something they were right about.

28. Give them the opportunity to shine in front of others when you’re tempted to dominate the conversation.

29. Give compassion when you’re tempted to judge, and let them know what you admire about the challenges they’ve overcome.

30. Give them your honest opinion and say, “I value you too much to tell you anything but the truth.”

For more of the 7o ways click here!

 

 

making others feel special can be as easy as showing them love or kindness, remembering events special to them, greeting them in the morning, or opening the door for them. At the beginning of your day strive to make people happy and at the end of the day notice what a difference it makes.

 

 Reflection:

The six ways to make people like you have been tested, and proven. Each way can bring you one step closer to friends and aquaintences. For example, remembering names is a way to show people they made an impact on you, and listening to them provides them with support and comfort. I wish to follow and abide to these rules, and ways knowing they will affect my relations with people. I will respond attentively when spoken to and strive to make others feel appreciated. Smiles are contagious and by this way i can make others feel happy and feel welcomed. I believe that making relationships with others is both hard and easy depending on your reactions to them. For example, you can make friends with anyone and it is evident when noticing that friends can come from all kinds of backgrounds and still remain friends. Strive to show your happiness and to make others happy. Especially with the holidays, friendships are always beautiful to have as one feels the warmth of others.

 

 

 

 

6 Attitudes of High Achievers

 By John R. Noe

1. Make No Small Plans

If your dream doesn’t scare you, it’s not big enough. Think huge, think ginormous, dinosaur sized thoughts. Think thoughts that are so grand they burst through the limit of the common box, Let them become stars in the solar system. Don’t plan for the now, plan for the later and do for the now, for you see, now is the preset, later is what becomes of our present. High achievers look beyond the common day dilemma, they don’t see the calendar, they learn to see the goals on them. This applies to so many things. For example, the common person has most likely seen the before and after photos of a person who lost weight and achieved their goal. They post the dates right under the photos, and notice the big space in between dates, some are years, and all are months. Nothing happened in a week, not even two. They happened in months. I bring this to mind because those people never thought small. They thought okay, I’m going to be healthy, here’s the plan. Meal plans, exercise, changing unhealthy habits, all for the future. To achieve goals we must plan ahead and work hard. Big things never came from small work. By focusing on what you want to achieve anything is possible.

2. Do what they fear

You must learn to face your fears. A key to accomplishing the impossible is to do what seemed impossible and make it possible. Fears are frightening,but learning to deal with the fears, frightens the fears. So i say, chill or be chilled. Make your fears fear you. Destroy what destroys you. Facing your fears opens opportunities.

Exposure

In psychology coming into contact with your fears is called exposure. The process of facing your fears in an effective, systematic way is called exposure therapy. I’ll start by describing the main principles behind it. However, applying these ideas is a little messier when it comes to social fears. I’ll explain why later, but first I’ll lay out the basic concepts.

Why it’s important to face your fears!

3. Are willing to prepare

4. Are willing to risk failure

5. Are teachable

High achievers work hard, and have the desire to learn and so they learn. To fully grasp a concept or understand, one must be willing to work towards understanding. Being taught requires accepting the lesson taught. As they say you can give an animal water for thirst, but you can not make it drink it. Success in life, is not measured by where you are but how you got there. No one can make you feel or think things that you can’t feel. You cannot be taught what you don’t want to know.

Being teachable and humble is not about competency or mental ability; it is all about a thirst and an appreciation for knowledge. St. Augustine once said: “Do you wish to rise? Begin by descending. Are you planning a tower that will pierce the clouds? Lay first the foundation of humility.” When I meet someone who is teachable they are self-effacing, they listen well, acknowledge their errors and fix them, continually seek more knowledge, and surround themselves with seasoned educators. – Excerpt from Forbes.com, written by Alan Hall Link to site and article

Definition of teachable Teachable means willing to learn or be taught.

Learning is so important because there is so much out there. It makes life fuller. When learning is mentioned one reflects and imagines books and numbers, but learning is accepting knowledge, all knowledge. Understanding the tutorial of a video game is learning, following a new recipe is learning, looking at a video step by step process of origami or even a makeup tutorial is learning. When someone says i hate learning, it is not learning they hate, but the subject they dislike. For example my younger brother Danny, he loves math, and does it freely and happily when assigned, but he struggles in English. He struggles only because he creates that barrier of being unteachable, of not wanting to learn. I notice that when i am reluctant to grasp something, i do not learn it. So to make it easier for me, i learned to accept the information and welcome it. When you fight something, you can’t expect it to not fight back.  Open your heart, mind, and senses to something and it will never leave you.

6. Have heart

Have compassion and sympathy for the common good. Heart means having passion and bringing life to things. High achievers achieve highly due to their goals being pure and high and with good intent. Use what you have for the common good. If you have and achieve success, use that success to not only better your world but to better those in the whole world. For example, a millionaire who gets thousands a day and instead of falling to greed can help those around them. Ill people are dying due to high cost of medicine, families are on the streets, elderly people care has gone down, natural disaster destruction can’t be helped due to low funding, people are starving, wars are springing up over money debate and financial difficulty. Nowadays all this world needs is a helping hand from mankind. Instead of focusing on the money, focus on integrity. Money has power because man gives it power. It’s paper. Paper burns, rips, is lost, crumbles, fades when wet, paper is nothing but paper. Money is paper. Paper comes from trees. The absolute saddest part of this, the sickest part, is that we value money so much but don’t realize the trees killed from the paper, the families lost for it, the murders committed wanting it, we are so blinded by the diamond encrusted gold watch shine, that we don’t see the real part of life. What would happen if currency no longer had use? If inflation happened, if all economies crashed? We can give money to the world, we know that. But that would make money useless. See, money is nothing but debt and trust and false flash of desires. At the end of the day, what did you do to help the world? What did you do to help humanity?

Psychological meaning of having heart

Having heart Article on Survival

High achievers achieve highly from their thoughts and morals and plans, not only actions. Each thing you do reflects upon were you are. If you have many friends and loved ones, it is because you were kind and friendly and generous. If you are a superhero saving lives then it is because you stood for justice. No one is where they are without reason. You are where you are due to what you were and what you went through. Make no small plans and keep your hopes high. As they say, shoot for the moon and if you dont succeed you still land among the stars. Do what they fear. Sometimes people aren’t born strong or courageous. Sometimes they become strong when strong is all they have left. Sometimes they are brave when bravery is there only option. Never being afraid to challenge the odds against you, because once you challenge the impossible, anything is possible. Practice doesn’t just make perfect, it makes permanent. Preparation is key to any strategy. Being prepared for life and life’s untimely obstacles. Expect the unexpected. You could do so much if you plan more than the normal. For an exam for example, say you only study the study guide and not notes, you’re in a pickle if the teacher puts questions outside of the guide. But if you notice all the information needed to pass the entire topic, you need not be afraid of any exam. Failure is inevitable. We all fail. The greatest were never always great. To know what triumph is, we must understand defeat. Never be afraid to lose or to fail because each fail adds up to a win. For example, in the video game injustice, i could never defeat sinestro as a battle withing the story mode of the game. So i tried and tried, relentllessly to defeat him and after a good period of training tutorials and batlles i won. I did not give up on my goal to win. I died about 7 times or so, before i won. Teachable. You must be willing to learn to grow. No plant ever grew from not drinking water. The product is wisdom, the manufacturing is where the knowledge is made. Have a heart. The most important of all the rules within achieving highly. What good is success without anyone to share it with?

Boldness- Personal Development Attribute

Boldness is being fearless in the face of actual or possible danger or rebuff; courageous and daring. not hesitating to break the rules of propriety; forward; impudent:brave.

Being bold is expressing something not everyone says or thinks or likes, it is daring to be different. It is sticking out in a crowd of faces. Good or bad, bold makes a statement. There are various ways a person can be bold whether it being the clothes they wear, their hair, or what they say. Usually bold people know they’re bold and honestly that is how the like it. to be far from the norms of everyday. To challenge adversity and growl in the face of fear. Boldness can often be a good trait to have as a person. For example boldness can make you stand out at a job or in a company, it can take you much further than being ordinary and plain. Boldness, can get you noticed, even famous. The only downside from being bold would be if the boldness came from something bad or humiliating or when you are alienated from society as an individual.

Last SSS??..

” Obedience is central to becoming, being, and remaining happy.”

David A. Bednar

Happiness is accomplished when you obey the rules because it is easier to cooperate and life in total becomes easy. Once life is easy,  it is easy to be happy and feel fulfilled. Happiness is a part of life and it is important for all beings. And the benefits that come from being obedient are great and assist you in many ways.  If we follow the rules set upon us then live is easier and better. We were made to be governed and ruled by laws because that is the way we have come to be and rules and laws keep order. Obedience to yourself and to rules set upon you from your culture and/or religion we follow. its good to obey to things that are only making us and evrything else better.

100+ Goals reflection ~\-_-\~

Okay this year when we got our goals asssignment i already knew it was going to help us out in life. And so far it has. Since i wrote down my goals i actually accomplished more than usual because it was a goal. I wanted a victory. I got to do things i was afraid of and tried new things i said i would do. I got to make a pinata this year and i have always wanted to and now i know how to. I go to pet an ostrich even though i was a bit scared to touch one. I got to learn a new language, now i can speak English, Spanish and somewhat French. I understand now. I got to read new books and i got to create a sculpture of clay. I passed all the levels on this video game. I got to grow a garden at home. I took my AP exam for history. I accomplished so much this year and this guided me on doing so. I feel it has a great impact on a person who uses it. I will keep reading it and adding to it because life is full of possibilities and i should never give up on my goals and never stop having goals because they’re is so much you can accomplish when you put your mind to it. I never was as outgoing as now and this book made me who i am today typing this post. I do hope others next year can benefit from having this book and being inspired to accomplish their dreams and hopes and goals. And to never give up on them.

Class Reflection!!!! ~\-_-\~

1. What did you like best about this class?
2. What did you dislike about this class?
3. What can you recommend to improve the class?
4. What will you always remember about this class?

ANSWERS:

1. I liked the projects and presentations. My favorite had to be the recording were lupita and andre and vic and other friends and me got to rap. I liked how we got to read quotes that inspired us and helped us throughout our hardships this year. I enjoyed how we had a book of goals and how it was amazing to see what we could accomplish in this semester alone. I liked being able to have my own blog and editing and posting things i want to write about.
2. I disliked the vague and daily career posts. I wish we could get variety on what we post; the same routine everyday gets boring. i disliked how students disrupted the class and everyone else had to suffer consequences from their actions. I disliked that something were a bit boring for us. I didn’t like it that we didn’t learn as many programs or sites as i would’ve liked.
3. I say better writing topics and maybe quotes from popular people today. Most of us like writing with opinion and love to  here what famous actors and people today say. The media does influence us. I wish we could have more free time like “Free-Time Fridays” or something. I think we should be able to ave a few free writes every once ina while. I think we should get moved seats with people we don’t know because it expands our social circle a lot and puts us out there.
4. I will always remember the advice i got from quotes we read and how they got me to think. I will always remember the projects and presentations we did as groups.

 

SSS

“Whenobedience becomes our goal, it is no longer an irritation; instead of a stumbling block, it becomes a building block. ”

James E. Faust

Obedience is folowing the rules of your own moral values. I vow to always committ to being a good person and to never break my vow of obedience. I will follow the rules set upon me and i will strive to help others follow as well. Obedience is learning when to do and when to not do something. obedience is our right from wrong voice. I will listen to my conscience and i will not do what i know ii shouldn’t. And whenever i feel that feeling in my gut to do wrong, i will do right until the feeling goes away. To be honest i have learned a lot this year about following and being obedient. I learned that rules are set for a reason, and that they aren’t broken because they are not supposed to be. I learned that obedience doesn’t mean letting yourself get pushed around by the orders of others, but that obedience is within us and it is following our own set of rules. It made me evaluate and analyze my ideals and thoughts. I noticed that when i say i will be committed i am committed because i vow to be. I learned that following the rules  is much more useful than not.

 

Plastic Surgeon

duties and responsibilities:

Plastic surgeons are also called reconstructive surgeons. These doctors typically deal with reconstruction, repairing, or replacing various parts of the body

Salary:

$ 340,000 a year is the median pay

Education:

Bachelor’s degree and medical school. A licensing exam is given. Certification is given.

Reflection:

I would like this job because it does pay well and i believe i could do it. They also get paid time off, social security, and pension.