Three Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

Dale Carnegie
Technique 1: Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
“If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive.”
 
Criticism is never handled lightly by anyone and is often seen as rude. Complaining is a burden because you bring down your own spirit and the other person’s. People like good natured conversation not something that will bother them. Life is always about focusing on the good and not the bad, it’s the only way to truly survive. It keeps you hopeful in difficult times. When speaking with someone, you don’t really know their thoughts or what they have gone through. Sometimes criticism seems useless when you don’t fully understand the situation and complaining can bring up other issues that you or the other person may have. People like to be appreciated and this is how relationships are formed. Each individual brings the other one something to better their life such as sympathy or compassion.
Technique 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation
“The big secret in dealing with people”
People can tell when we are lying, and a fake compliment is the worst. I think it makes the person feel guilty of not really being truthful. Honest and sincere comments are ones that cannot be denied and are truthful. For example, you can tell a girl ,” you are the most beautiful person alive,” but if the girl doesn’t believe it, it may sound very fake and unrealistic. Instead of this you could try, “you are the most beautiful, in my eyes,” this way the person cannot disagree and will understand that what you say is truthful because it is your personal opinion. Speak for yourself, and for the voiceless. When speaking, one must be connected to what they are saying for the phrase to be meaningful. Anyone can say, “I love you,” but only few can mean it with their heart. You can then feel the connection between each other. Applying this to your daily conversations and greetings surely makes those around you feel welcomed.
Technique 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want.
“He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot, walks a lonely way.”

This principle can mean various things. For example you can inspire another. For a teacher to get their students to learn they must feel motivated and inspired to want to learn. In a conversation you have to encourage the other person to want to talk to you. In an interview for a job, the person hiring must see in you a reason to add you to their company or team as a benefit. When somebody truly wants/needs you, it is noticeable and often benefits both individuals. The other person will welcome something they want. If you want to be invited to a party, show that you are the life of the party and that your way of being is going to make the party more exciting. People will follow you for how you are and how you handle situations.

 

 

 

 

 

Final Reflection:

Handling people can become both a simple task and a difficult mission. People need kindness, and genuine emotion. These traits make people want to talk more. Humans crave interaction, but most importantly interaction that benefits them.  A conversation is between two people and two people should enjoy the conversation. I wish to apply these techniques in my conversations to help me speak better and more fluently with people. These techniques are the basics for handling small talk or deep convos with friends or strangers. When people are seeking advice from you, be honest and help them out. If you want to speak to someone, don’t push them away. If you want to talk to someone, make them enjoy talking to you.  People are like people, you are a person, and so am I. We should always take into consideration the views and words of others when we speak to them.

Killer Conversation Starters – click to view

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Christmas Break.

 

For Christmas vacation, I visited my dad. My dad’s house is about 3-4 hours away and in the middle of nowhere. My dad lives with my cousin from Mexico, my two other cousins, my niece, and my cousins friend. Our whole family was going to spend Christmas over there, and this is the first time I’ve spend any form of holiday with my dad since the divorce. We decorated the house, we put stockings on the staircase, and we burned cookies, and ate posole. My aunt made tamales that lasted us until three days after New Year’s.  I got to paint my own stocking which was awesome and I got to drink so much champurrado. We were there for two whole weeks and during the time we made the most of our time. We got to ride our old ATV’s, we played our shooting games, and I got to relive my most memorable moments in archery. We line up discarded soda cans to shoot at for accuracy and we shoot at a target board my dad has set in his back yard; my dad has his own set of dirt land next to the house where we ride our bikes and race. I hadn’t been able to do those things in a really long time. We made a fire and my dad’s dog started howling so we taught our baby niece how to howl at the moon, it is literally the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. New Years was very meaningful to me, possibly the best New Year’s yet. I always see people get all fancy for this day and this year I really wondered why. We stay home, and eat food, and are with our family. I think that’s enough to kick off a new year. So this year I literally showed up to my cousin’s house with sweats and a hoodie, but I was extremely happy to share time with all of them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6 ways to make people like you

Rule 1: Become genuinely interested in other people.
“Do this and you will be welcome anywhere.”
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
“Ask questions to other people, questions that they would enjoy answering.”

As individuals we often like to feel cared about and when someone asks usquestions we feel like they care. Thus when we ask questions, they feel cared about. People like to feel important and in honest truth we like to talk about ourselves it boosts our ego. Instead of making yourself feel grand, make the other person feel valuable. I know by experience that when someone asks about our lives we feel like they care, and this makes us feel like we can care about them too. This bond creates friendships faster and with more substance. Next time when greeting, or meeting someone ask about them. Possibly start with, “how has your day been?” or, “how are you?” Simple key points to initiate conversation and promote interest.

 Link to article on traits of likeable people, useful!

“1. They aren’t insecure

2. They’re Genuine.

3. They Don’t Judge

4. They’re Positive

5. They Don’t Compete

6. They Provide Value

7. They Don’t Settle for Small Talk

8. They Touch People

9. They Don’t Shy Away

10. They Genuinely Like People”

This list is published in an article on Lifehack.org that teaches us the ways people and why people are likeable. MAKE THE BEST IMPRESSION POSSIBLE

How to make people like you- INSTANTLY!

 

Rule 2: Smile
1) “Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, “I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.”
2) “You don’t feel like smiling? Then force yourself to smile.”
3) “It creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in a business, and is the countersign (witness or indication) of friends.”

Smiles are friendly and approachable. I have always found that the day i smile the most, ends up being the brightest. I have noticed that smiles only happen when we are happy, we do it to our friends, but imagine doing it to others? It could be magic. A smile can actually be made so easily. If you hold on to a smile for about thirty seconds straight( sometimes more depends on your mood, just hold it for a while) , you eventually begin to smile, it’s proven. Don’t believe me, try it. You just want to laugh, or smile, and it makes you happy instantly. Smiles are very essential to happiness in our lives and it makes us better as people. Everyone rather be around the happiness then the sadness, because what you give off, rubs off just like habits and vibes. So smile because you can, smile because someone out there just had a child, because someone out there is saying “I do,” because someone out there feels love, someone out there made a friend, and someone like you is smiling too. It makes us almost feel less alone. Because someone somewhere is happy too, and that’s awesome.

Songs to boost mood!

51 things to smile about!

15 ways to make someone smile

40 things that bring happiness

 

 

 

Rule 3: Remember names

1) “A man’s name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

2) “If you don’t remember names, you are headed for trouble.”

Rule 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

” If you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener.” 
“Remember that the man you are talking to is a hundred times more interested in himself and his wants and his problems than he is in you and your problems. 

 

When people feel heard this welcomes a feeling of comfort and sympathy. Most of the time all we want is to be heard and often when we cannot be heard or aren’t we feel alone and unwanted. When someone asks about you, you feel as if someone cares and this is the feeling we want to give others. Just yesterday on the bus, I was speaking to this elderly woman on the bus and we got to talking about her life, and her kids, and travels. She left me at her stop and welcomed me to her home whenever I needed someone to speak to and a blessing. I had never had such an engaging conversation with someone and i can tell she felt genuinely heard, and this made me happy. It reminded me of my grandma and my mom, and my aunt and how we all talk to each other and they always open up to each other hearing each other our and getting advice from one another. They have like a support system and hearing people becomes means of support and you give hope to the other individual.

How to be a GOOD listener

 

 

Listening to others gives them support and makes you supportive so next time you see someone having some trouble take a moment to listen to them. I will constantly apply this skill in helping others.

 

 

 

 

5 Tips for Active Listening: 

  1. Stay Focused

  2. Really Listen

  3. Allow periods of silence for them to talk

  4. Paraphrase/ Repeat their words

  5. Understand emotions behind words 

 

Rule 5: Talk in terms of the other man’s interest.

“The royal road to a man’s heart is to talk to him about the things he treasures most.”

 
When people relate they feel closer. No one ever feels unwanted this way and similarites are found amongst the two conversating. If the person brings up a certain topic, ask them on the topic. Asking the other person questions on their interests is a perfect way to fill awkward gaps of silence and to get to know one another. When I’m talking to someone knew my ocnversations starts off with greeting them, and then how are they or how was their day  and i elaborate on one of their topics of choosing. For example, my cousin came over yesterday and we watched a series of Christmas movies, and ate chinese food. We spent the entire time back and forth asking questions and discussing our lives. She has a basketball game today afternoon against another high school. and we took to speaking about basketball because it is something that interests her, she seemed happy to be talking freely, and i did as well. You can never expect someone to be interested in you when you show no interest in them at all.
Talking in another’s interests engages them in the talk and shows you care. The holidays are upon us and this is great time to be taking other’s opinions into considerations. For love ones, it helps with gift buying and finding ways for them to feel loved and cared about these Holidays!

Rule 6: Make the other person feel important–and do it sincerely.

“The desire to be important is the deepest urge in human nature.” (John Dewey)“Helping people feel important and appreciated works magic.”

When people feel important they feel cared for and loved. Everyone deserves to feel this way respected and wanted. One can make others feel special by listening to them and responding giving support. Those people then fell heard and this makes us happy. Making people feel happy and important is not a difficult feat and can be done with ease as one opens their hearts to give to another.

 30 out 0f 70 ways to make someone feel special

Pay Attention

1. Stop what you’re doing and look directly into their eyes when they’re talking.

2. Make a note of their likes and preferences so you can recommend joint activities you know they’ll enjoy.

3. Recognize when they’re feeling down on themselves and say, “I think you’re awesome, and I hope you know it!”

4. Compliment them on their appearance, especially if it’s something others might not recognize (like a small weight loss).

5. Praise them for a job well done—especially if it’s a tiny victory that others might not think to acknowledge.

6. Let them know what you find interesting, rare, or admirable about them.

7. Take an interest in their hobbies and passions, and give them a chance to light up in sharing why they enjoy them.

8. Compliment them on their skills as a parent or their thoughtfulness as a son, daughter, brother, or sister.

9. Start a conversation with, “It’s really amazing how you…”

10. Say, “I want you to know you make a difference in my life. Thank you for being you.”

See Potential

11. Tell them you believe they can achieve their dream—and why.

12. If they don’t have a clear dream, recognize and acknowledge their skills and talents.

13. Ask them questions to help them uncover how they can leverage their strengths to make a difference in the world.

14. Encourage them to go for something they want but are scared to pursue.

15. Comfort them after a failure or misstep and let them know it isn’t representative of who they are or what they’re capable of.

16. Ask them to teach you how to do something to reinforce that this is something they excel at.

17. Offer to teach them something you know they’ve wanted to try, and let them know why you think they’d be good at this.

18. Give them something to help them get started on their dream—like a journal for an aspiring writer, or a design book for someone interested in fashion.

19. Tell them you want to be the first one to buy their product or service when they inevitably start making a living off their passion.

20. Give them a hand-made card and write inside what you see in them.

Give Generously

21. Give your time—to listen, to support, or to just enjoy each other’s company.

22. Give them a job referral and say, “You’re the first person I thought of when I saw this—no one could do this job as well as you!”

23. Give an introduction to someone they’d enjoy knowing—and introduce them with a compliment (i.e.: This is my good friend Avery, who’s a fantastic chef and one of the funniest people I know).

24. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Instead of assuming they’ve done something thoughtful or insensitive, remember their goodness, and let them know.

25. Give them your approval—nod your head when they’re talking and commend their thoughts and ideas.

26. Give them space to work through thoughts and ideas out loud, even if you’re tempted to bring the conversation back to yourself.

27. Give them credit for something they were right about.

28. Give them the opportunity to shine in front of others when you’re tempted to dominate the conversation.

29. Give compassion when you’re tempted to judge, and let them know what you admire about the challenges they’ve overcome.

30. Give them your honest opinion and say, “I value you too much to tell you anything but the truth.”

For more of the 7o ways click here!

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making others feel special can be as easy as showing them love or kindness, remembering events special to them, greeting them in the morning, or opening the door for them. At the beginning of your day strive to make people happy and at the end of the day notice what a difference it makes.
 

 Reflection:

The six ways to make people like you have been tested, and proven. Each way can bring you one step closer to friends and aquaintences. For example, remembering names is a way to show people they made an impact on you, and listening to them provides them with support and comfort. I wish to follow and abide to these rules, and ways knowing they will affect my relations with people. I will respond attentively when spoken to and strive to make others feel appreciated. Smiles are contagious and by this way i can make others feel happy and feel welcomed. I believe that making relationships with others is both hard and easy depending on your reactions to them. For example, you can make friends with anyone and it is evident when noticing that friends can come from all kinds of backgrounds and still remain friends. Strive to show your happiness and to make others happy. Especially with the holidays, friendships are always beautiful to have as one feels the warmth of others.

 

 

 

 

6 Attitudes of High Achievers

 By John R. Noe
  1. Make No Small Plans

If your dream doesn’t scare you, it’s not big enough. Think huge, think ginormous, dinosaur sized thoughts. Think thoughts that are so grand they burst through the limit of the common box, Let them become stars in the solar system. Don’t plan for the now, plan for the later and do for the now, for you see, now is the preset, later is what becomes of our present. High achievers look beyond the common day dilemma, they don’t see the calendar, they learn to see the goals on them. This applies to so many things. For example, the common person has most likely seen the before and after photos of a person who lost weight and achieved their goal. They post the dates right under the photos, and notice the big space in between dates, some are years, and all are months. Nothing happened in a week, not even two. They happened in months. I bring this to mind because those people never thought small. They thought okay, I’m going to be healthy, here’s the plan. Meal plans, exercise, changing unhealthy habits, all for the future. To achieve goals we must plan ahead and work hard. Big things never came from small work. By focusing on what you want to achieve anything is possible.

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2. Do what they fear

You must learn to face your fears. A key to accomplishing the impossible is to do what seemed impossible and make it possible. Fears are frightening,but learning to deal with the fears, frightens the fears. So i say, chill or be chilled. Make your fears fear you. Destroy what destroys you. Facing your fears opens opportunities.

Exposure

In psychology coming into contact with your fears is called exposure. The process of facing your fears in an effective, systematic way is called exposure therapy. I’ll start by describing the main principles behind it. However, applying these ideas is a little messier when it comes to social fears. I’ll explain why later, but first I’ll lay out the basic concepts.

Why it’s important to face your fears!

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3. Are willing to prepare

4. Are willing to risk failure

5. Are teachable

High achievers work hard, and have the desire to learn and so they learn. To fully grasp a concept or understand, one must be willing to work towards understanding. Being taught requires accepting the lesson taught. As they say you can give an animal water for thirst, but you can not make it drink it. Success in life, is not measured by where you are but how you got there. No one can make you feel or think things that you can’t feel. You cannot be taught what you don’t want to know.

Being teachable and humble is not about competency or mental ability; it is all about a thirst and an appreciation for knowledge. St. Augustine once said: “Do you wish to rise? Begin by descending. Are you planning a tower that will pierce the clouds? Lay first the foundation of humility.” When I meet someone who is teachable they are self-effacing, they listen well, acknowledge their errors and fix them, continually seek more knowledge, and surround themselves with seasoned educators. – Excerpt from Forbes.com, written by Alan Hall Link to site and article

Definition of teachable Teachable means willing to learn or be taught.

Learning is so important because there is so much out there. It makes life fuller. When learning is mentioned one reflects and imagines books and numbers, but learning is accepting knowledge, all knowledge. Understanding the tutorial of a video game is learning, following a new recipe is learning, looking at a video step by step process of origami or even a makeup tutorial is learning. When someone says i hate learning, it is not learning they hate, but the subject they dislike. For example my younger brother Danny, he loves math, and does it freely and happily when assigned, but he struggles in English. He struggles only because he creates that barrier of being unteachable, of not wanting to learn. I notice that when i am reluctant to grasp something, i do not learn it. So to make it easier for me, i learned to accept the information and welcome it. When you fight something, you can’t expect it to not fight back.  Open your heart, mind, and senses to something and it will never leave you.

6. Have heart

Have compassion and sympathy for the common good. Heart means having passion and bringing life to things. High achievers achieve highly due to their goals being pure and high and with good intent. Use what you have for the common good. If you have and achieve success, use that success to not only better your world but to better those in the whole world. For example, a millionaire who gets thousands a day and instead of falling to greed can help those around them. Ill people are dying due to high cost of medicine, families are on the streets, elderly people care has gone down, natural disaster destruction can’t be helped due to low funding, people are starving, wars are springing up over money debate and financial difficulty. Nowadays all this world needs is a helping hand from mankind. Instead of focusing on the money, focus on integrity. Money has power because man gives it power. It’s paper. Paper burns, rips, is lost, crumbles, fades when wet, paper is nothing but paper. Money is paper. Paper comes from trees. The absolute saddest part of this, the sickest part, is that we value money so much but don’t realize the trees killed from the paper, the families lost for it, the murders committed wanting it, we are so blinded by the diamond encrusted gold watch shine, that we don’t see the real part of life. What would happen if currency no longer had use? If inflation happened, if all economies crashed? We can give money to the world, we know that. But that would make money useless. See, money is nothing but debt and trust and false flash of desires. At the end of the day, what did you do to help the world? What did you do to help humanity?

Psychological meaning of having heart

Having heart Article on Survival

High achievers achieve highly from their thoughts and morals and plans, not only actions. Each thing you do reflects upon were you are. If you have many friends and loved ones, it is because you were kind and friendly and generous. If you are a superhero saving lives then it is because you stood for justice. No one is where they are without reason. You are where you are due to what you were and what you went through. Make no small plans and keep your hopes high. As they say, shoot for the moon and if you dont succeed you still land among the stars. Do what they fear. Sometimes people aren’t born strong or courageous. Sometimes they become strong when strong is all they have left. Sometimes they are brave when bravery is there only option. Never being afraid to challenge the odds against you, because once you challenge the impossible, anything is possible. Practice doesn’t just make perfect, it makes permanent. Preparation is key to any strategy. Being prepared for life and life’s untimely obstacles. Expect the unexpected. You could do so much if you plan more than the normal. For an exam for example, say you only study the study guide and not notes, you’re in a pickle if the teacher puts questions outside of the guide. But if you notice all the information needed to pass the entire topic, you need not be afraid of any exam. Failure is inevitable. We all fail. The greatest were never always great. To know what triumph is, we must understand defeat. Never be afraid to lose or to fail because each fail adds up to a win. For example, in the video game injustice, i could never defeat sinestro as a battle withing the story mode of the game. So i tried and tried, relentllessly to defeat him and after a good period of training tutorials and batlles i won. I did not give up on my goal to win. I died about 7 times or so, before i won. Teachable. You must be willing to learn to grow. No plant ever grew from not drinking water. The product is wisdom, the manufacturing is where the knowledge is made. Have a heart. The most important of all the rules within achieving highly. What good is success without anyone to share it with?

Pursuing Happiness (9 Ways)

9 Ways to be happy and make something of your life – Gordon B Hinckley

  1. Be Grateful

Being grateful is necessary in achieving happiness. As people we take a lot for granted and often miss noticing how fortunate we are to be alive and to have what we have. If we were to take into consideration all that we have, we would appreciate it so much more and that brings a feeling of fulfillment to our lives that inevitably brings us closer to happiness. Take for example those who do not have homes, we who do are so lucky to have shelter, whether it is a house, an apartment, a loft, we still have a roof over our heads. Then consider those who have no food and no shelter, we who have something to eat complain about eating it when people don’t even have food themselves. Then think of your family, some people don’t have moms, some people don’t have dads, or sisters, or brothers, and we have to be thankful for what we do have in our lives. We never know when those things can be taken from us so we have to consider the moment and realize that we do need certain things in our lives and certain people and honestly we are lucky and blessed even to have them. I will apply this in my life by remembering to give thanks to those i appreciate and demonstrate my appreciation before it’s too late.

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2. Be smart

Being smart doesn’t have to mean knowing the names of deep sea creatures, or all the formulas of math concepts. Being smart can be being smart in your decisions such as planning and evaluating your actions. If you are smart and plan ahead for your summer for example, you would have activities to enjoy instead of wasting time being bored. Happiness can come from intelligence. The pride we receive from awards from grades like the honor roll and so on bring us happiness. Knowing more can bring us happiness because we feel more informed and focused on our surroundings.  I f we make smart decisions our life becomes easier and leaves space for more fun and memorable moments. Intelligence can be measured by your decisions you take and the decisions you don’t take, similarly by the knowledge you do have and the creativity you also include. Knowledge is  power. In any situation knowing more makes you superior. Being smart can e unleashing your mind to show more than just what is required.  Use your intelligence to baffle, use it to amaze, use it to find the beauty in life. With knowledge you can also come to recognize so much that ignorance lacks to comprehend, you can find beauty in the way the world is, and that on its own brings happiness as you realize that there is so much out there you have yet to discover. Personally, i will apply being smart in my life by questioning aspects, by learning and discovering, by expanding my mind’s  capability to be free and to believe and dream and reflect and propose ideas, and to find my happiness in noticing and evaluating all i am fortunate to have.

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3. Be involved in good works 

Be involved in good activities such as volunteering, or doing something that betters you or others in doing so. Personally i volunteer in a hospital and working in a hospital i attend to all medical professionals and patients. I learn each day about attending to medical procedures and how to assist a patient in need. Taking vitals, feeding, cleaning, paperwork, assisting in loading and unloading ambulance passengers. I also belong to a club in school that focuses on bettering and ensuring personal and general health currently we are working on a fundraiser for funding organizations and research and treatment for  cancer patients. It brings happiness to know you thought of more than yourself. It feels good to help others making sure you are not the only one happy. Being involved in good works also does not mean joining clubs, no it can mean making yourself better, finding ways from bettering your own life. Maybe if you’re an alcoholic, try slowly to drink less and then one day you might actually just stop. Maybe you were involved in gangs once, and now you are not and want to channel your energy for good, maybe recycling, maybe art or writing. Life can always get better, you just have to want it to get better. Just keep your outlook in an area with lots of sunshine and better horizons.

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The essential question is what are you doing with your life? Are you happy? Focus on involving things that better life.

I intend to apply this by remaining involved in wholesome involvement in my life.

4. Be clean

Being clean always seems to represent hygiene cleaning but honestly the word clean means being rid of toxins or dirt, or being purified, or cleansed. This can go for a lot of topics. If only the world cared about cleaning their souls and conscience as much as they take showers and wash their clothes. When you think of being clean, you imagine a clean house, clean clothes, and soapy showers.

Everyone can handle spring cleaning, yet they only clean the surface of their lives. Rid your mind and heart of toxins and filth and stains the way you wash your clothes and carpet, and one day you might honestly feel truly clean. Personally i take at least one shower a day sometimes two,morning and night, and i clean my house and organize my things, it helps me feel less cluttered. But sometimes we got to take initiative and clean ourselves out. Clean out the hate from our minds, release the vengeful thoughts, let go of the pain of the past, and truly clean ourselves inside. If you are to rid yourself of the filth inside yourself then you have no choice to be clean.

Some toxins inside us can include:

  • Hate
  • Greed
  • Shallowness
  • Envy
  • Self pity

Emotions to remove are:

  • Anger
  • Stress
  • Frustration
  • Sadness

Only by removing the source of unhappiness can one truly be happy. Did you know? We can choose. We can choose what we feel and how we react as we feel about it. If you feel love people kiss, if you feel sad you can cry or not cry, when you feel mad you can become violent or try to find peace, you can let the world get to you or you can get the world for all that it’s worth.  Clean your mind, your heart, and soul from the dirt of that outside. You wouldn’t let someone walk in your house with dirty shoes staining your clean carpet, don’t let them come in and stain your life or your heart. Remain clean in who you associate with and what you do.

5. Be True

Being true can represent so many things. Being true to your word, being truthful. Being true to who you are. Being true to what you believe in. Life tests us, all the time. Be true to who you are and never letting people change you and what you believe in. Happiness isn’t ever an easy goal, why? because so many people want it, you fight for it, pursue it, you dream and plan for it. Being true to the person you are and to yourself is hard, society makes comments, you start to question yourself, you doubt in your abilities. Being happy is knowing you are who you are and how you are and that it is great. Realize this: everyone wants happiness, everyone is different. Meaning the way you have to pretend to be something else, others do too. The way you want to accomplish things, others do to. Some of us are just swayed by society and temptation and pressure to stray from being true to ourselves. Be true to who you are and understand that who you are is exactly who you are meant to be.

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Be true to who you are. For example in Mulan by Disney the character must be true to herself to save her family, her country and herself. We fight for what we need, we fight for happiness by not letting the world change who we are. Change the world but don’t let the world change you. I will continue applying this to find my happiness by remaining who i am and not letting my situation get to me.

6. Be Positive

Life is only going to be happy if you yourself are happy.confident in opinion or assertion; fully assured:emphasizing what is laudable, hopeful, or to the good; constructive. The reason i state this is because you yourself have the power to feel however you choose. Being positive helps you feel great and realize all the good you have. Negativity causes sadness and pain in one. If you are positive and say you are going to accomplish something and will not stop trying until you do then you are eventually inevitably going to accomplish your goal because you were positive and confident that you could. Positive is such a good trait to have and is very useful. Your smile is contagious and can make anyone’s day brighter just by smiling. Positivism is going out there and facing things with a smile and hope for the best. Many people are negative, but it is so rare to find someone happy and that is so valuable. Changed the world but never let the world change you. Going out there and deciding you’re going to make the day joyful and happy and hoping other’s days go well too. Negativity has a way of pulling someone’s mind into darkness, darkness that is hard to crawl out from and sometimes we need kindness and hope to remind us that good is out there. Be positive, and maybe you too can make the world a more positive place.

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I intend to be positive because there is so much out there i want. I want to live and be free and happy in the purest way possible. Being positive reminds me that no matter what the situation is, i can always find happiness either for myself or others.

7. Be Humble

Being humble by definition is not being proud or arrogant, having a sense of modesty. Be humble as in don’t boast or make others feel inferior or yourself to feel superior.

8 Psychological Benefits of Being Humble

1. Soothe the soul

2. Excellence in leadership

3. Higher self-control

4. Better work performance

5. Higher grades

6. Less prejudice

7. More helpful

8. Better relationships

Link To PsyBlog Post on being humble

Being humble has always helped in different areas, but most importantly your self mind and morals. Being humble teaches you to acknowledge the small things in life and to realize that you’re doing good, but there is no reason to make others feel bad. It honestly makes you a better leader and a greater one in front of the given people you are leading.

How Humility makes you a leader post on FastCompany

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I strive to be humble in all that i do because if i constantly boast upon my self then the success is no longer success but an arrogant comment. I will stay humble to achieve my goals and long after i have achieved them.

8. Be Still 

To Be Still is a conscious state. A state of mind where all outside forces are removed. To Surrender to the Omnipresent. To be one with the universe. A one way line of communication from the powers that be. Waves of Truth. Being still is separating yourself from the current situation and being one with the moment. Close your eyes, separating mind from body, spirit from the body. As if all thoughts are the moment. I propose it would be similar to thinking, remembering, daydreaming or nighthinking. To find that nirvana, that bliss moment of perfection, is to find happiness. When every thought is superior to the external forces. Be still, take mental photographs, remember memories, reflect on the little details of life. Look at the shape of the raindrops, the smiles of those you meet, realize the beauty that is so hidden in the world. You can find the beauty in everything and that makes life beautiful, leaving you in awe of the moment. Starstruck by the wonder of living.

The world is constantly moving that is understandable, but breathe. Find peace in a situation, don’t stress, don’t worry, being happy is not that hard.

9. Be Prayerful

The nine ways to be happy can be used in so many aspects of life. They are ways of learning, reflecting, finding happiness. They keep your soul clean, cleanliness brings clarity. I will appreciate what i have in life, my friends and family. And i will always remember to appreciate what i have before i lose it. I will remember to think and reflect and be smart. To be involved in the good parts of life. To remain clean from my soul. To be true to who i am and what i believe. Stay positive and challenge adversity. To be humble and know that what i do is enough and i do not need recognition. To remain aware of my life and to never stop seeing the beauty in living.

Commitment

Commitment

The state or quality of being dedicated to a cause.

Duty. Responsibility. Loyalty. 

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We must know that commitment is hard, you have to persevere and keep your chin up. For example, marching band. It is not as easy as it seems. We play, dance, smile, remember notes,must have 2.0 GPA or better, we do physical exercise as punishment, we have long practice in uncomfortable weather, remember positions, remember steps, march, and wear these heavy bulky uniforms. Under all the loud fun musics, and the happy smiles, we sweat, we run laps as discipline, we practice daily, we have practices on weekends, we play all the time. We play in the heat, in the rain, when our fingers are numb and we are cold in December, we play all the time. We have personal issues sometimes and extra school work on us but we manage.  Commitment. We love music, simple. We play because we love it. We play because we can. We play because we change the game. When the cheer leaders’s voices are hoarse and flips are out of the question, we play. The football kickoff, we play. The touchdown, we play. Halftime, we play. Winning or losing, we play. We go to practice, and practice hard, and memorize and don’t complain. This is commitment. Late to practice? Missed a note? Profanity used? 10 Push ups on the spot. We aren’t just playing because it was god given talent, no, we are committed. There are days were we play bad, real bad, and it does not discourage us any bit. We are committed to the music.

+Marquez Marching Band+

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Patience – Personal Development

” The key to freedom is obedience. The more obedient we are, the more freedom we have.” – Boyd K. Packer

PATIENCE 

The quote above demonstrates patience and patience is a key factor when dealing with life.

” You can’t calm the storm. So stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass.” – Timber Hawkeye

You cannot avoid obstacles, there is times when you have to go and overcome it whether or not you feel ready for it. Patience helps us through the toughest of situations and solves so many more problems than any of us know. A ninja is taught patience, before they can kick and flip, they learn to become one on their own and to be patient as individuals. Why? Patience creates swift, precise, calm moves. If ninjas were not patient, they would jump all over and not get far, they would swing at their opponent and miss and miss until they are tired. We must be like ninjas. Observe a problem, be calm about a problem, and strike with calmness to achieve greatness. Sometimes in life, you wake up and realize that as soon as you get to work/ school, you will be challenged. You can run at it, sweaty, red, and out of breath. Or you can walk steadily to its face and tell it “Excuse me” and walk past. How we handle a situation is what matters in the end, not the situation itself. Another scene to picture, depression. Say you are depressed about the things going on in your life. You can not change certain things, but you can change how you look at them. Utilizing patience in life leads to more chances to live. Patience also ties into freedom, because when a scenario can’t trouble or frustrate you, then you are free of problems.  Obedience requires patience, because sometimes the rules or commands we must follow require patience to finish and complete the task obediently. 1391507960810563d4c83425b8b158707ea8adbf0752f1ffEmilysQuotes.Com-calm-storm-experience-patience-Timber-Hawkeye-choicepatience-quote

my goals in life are completed with patience and they take time. Anything good takes effort and patience. One goal in life is to be patient about every scenario i am faced with. With patience i can accomplish all those goals, maybe not today or tomorrow or the next but someday i will. I WILL.

Smile – Personal Development Attribute

A smile 🙂 🙂 🙂

A smile is an expression of joy, of emotion, perhaps hope, maybe support, or encouragement.

Anyone can smile, and every smile is beautiful. No matter if they’re missing teeth, have no tongue, or something, it is still beautiful. Why? Because it’s a simple act of being human. When we are happy it becomes uncontrollable, when we want to praise another it happens. You ever just looked at someone, and smiled? You smiled cause for that moment, that fragment of life, you felt happy. happy to be there, to know them, to be you, to breathe, to live. Very few people can say they had never smiled throughout their whole lifetime because it is close to impossible. Next time someone smiles at you, perhaps smile back, who knows what can happen. it might just brighten someones day.

Facts about smiling :

  • Forcing yourself to smile can boost your mood: Psychologists have found that even if you’re in bad mood, you can instantly lift your spirits by forcing yourself to smile.
  • It boosts your immune system: Smiling really can improve your physical health, too. Your body is more relaxed when you smile, which contributes to good health and a stronger immune system.
  • Smiles are contagious: It’s not just a saying: smiling really is contagious, scientists say. In a study conducted in Sweden, people had difficulty frowning when they looked at other subjects who were smiling, and their muscles twitched into smiles all on their own.
  • Smiles Relieve Stress: Your body immediately releases endorphins when you smile, even when you force it. This sudden change in mood will help you feel better and release stress.
  • It’s easier to smile than to frown: Scientists have discovered that your body has to work harder and use more muscles to frown than it does to smile.
  • It’s a universal sign of happiness: While hand shakes, hugs, and bows all have varying meanings across cultures, smiling is known around the world and in all cultures as a sign of happiness and acceptance.

Link to other fascinating facts about smiling! 🙂

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“Let your smile change the world, but don’t let the world change your smile.”

You have the power to brighten another’s day with just one smile. Smiles are universal happiness. Everyone and Anyone can smile. Never be ashamed of your smile, ever, because at least you smile, that is powerful because you aren’t afraid to let the world in on your happiness and to spread it with others. I’ve smiled before, because someone else smiled at me. For the remains of that day i couldn’t stop smiling, everywhere i went i greeted people smiling, and vice versa. My days have always been better when i smile, it’s like sunshine, like contagious. We must always keep hope and happiness, and not let obstacles and tragedy change us. Let’s start a smile chain, i smile, you smile, …..smile 🙂

Optimism – personal development attribute

Optimism 🙂

Optimism is having hope. Optimism is being enthusiastic about the future or life itself. Optimism is finding happiness in dark situations. Optimism is seeing the better side of an unfortunate event. Optimism is being strong. Optimism is a backup weapon in the face of unbeatable battle.It becomes the dagger in your side utility belt in a zombie apocalypse. Optimism can be being positive, but it is not limited to a smile or being happy. Optimism can be used in so many areas of life whether in losing scenarios, or winning. No one ever really notices when they’re happy or when they’re being optimistic . Sometimes it’s the little, “i know things are bad, and they could get worse, but at least I’m not at the worst yet,” or when things are at it’s worse, “it’s only temporary.” That is hope. That is strength. That is you saying, life still hasn’t beat you. It’s proving that the fight isn’t over, and you aren’t easily beaten. Optimism is a trait to have forever, because with that power you can not lose. Optimism is a survival kit equipped with a spray can of ,” I believe I can,” a gauze of,  “I’m not finished,” and cookie flavored with, ” i still have hope.” optimism-quotes technically-the-glass-is-always-full-quote-1 images (1) Optimism-Quotes-5 download optimism-quote

September 11, Destruction

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“I was staying in the Millennium Hilton Hotel, directly across the road from the twin towers on Church Street. I was standing at the window taking photos of the view when I heard the sound of the plane approaching. It seemed normal at first until in a few split seconds it turned into a roar, followed by a massive explosion. I’m sure as I can be that whoever was flying that jet put it in full throttle just before it hit, as the screech sounded just like when a plane is taking off.

I’m sure as I can be that whoever was flying that jet put it in full throttle just before it hit, as the screech sounded just like when a plane is taking off.

-Penny

I watched at the window while the enormity of the disaster began to unfold, watched as we realised people were trapped on the floors above the explosion, as fire and police rescuers streamed into the building.

People were throwing whatever they could out of the windows – tables, water coolers etc. – to break the glass and get air. I could see them hanging out of windows, then to my horror I realised people were beginning to jump to their death rather than being burned alive. What a terrible choice to have to make. And there was nothing I, or as it turned out, anyone else, could do to help.

I saw what I’m pretty sure was a policeman killed by a person who fell on him.” Penny, witness, spoke to ABC news in an article published telling her story of the horror she witnessed. Link To Penny’s Account on 9/11

“Moises Rivas, 29, a chef at the Windows On The World restaurant on the 106th floor desperately tried to reach his wife – but she was out doing the laundry.

‘Tell her I’m OK,’ he quietly told his stepdaughter. ‘Tell her I love her no matter what.’

It was the last call he would ever make.” Link to 9/11 Accounts from victims and people inside Twin Tower

No one who showed up that day expected to die. It’s insane how life is unfortunately unexpected. Any person today can face the same realization. We all die. Depressing, but true. We could all go through a disaster such as this and we can all die in accidents or health. It shows how valuable life is to us and how much we don’t use it to it’s fullest capacity. Some of those who died perhaps got into arguments prior leaving their spouses without any goodbyes or i love yous. Imagine losing a father fighting the fire of the buildings, losing a daughter walking down that street, losing a mother as secretary in an office. tell them that you love them before it is to late.